Saturday, June 21, 2008

Richard Cheese & The Lounge Against the Machine at Webster Hall

June 21st, 2008

Ahem. Tap Tap. Is this thing on? Check Mic... One. Two. Three. Check. Checkkkkk. OK. Good.

Hello there everybody who's reading. I am Krissy (for those of you who know me personally... feel free to refer to me by some SEXY secret nick name.) I've gotten into the habit of writing VERY enthusiastic reviews of the concerts I've attended. It is fun, and YES I am that enthusiastic. SERIOUSLY. It's just more fun to be passionate... even if it borders on embarrassing.

Now, I am sure some of you have noticed, that I have been to an OBSCENE amount of not-so-cheap concerts in the month of June, yet barely reviewed them. WHY?!?! You ask?! Well, because I was FUCKING TIRED! I have been shaking my ass and screaming every friday night and a few random days for the month of JUNE! I WORK people! I have a family! a MAN! FRIENDS! and a girl has got to eat and sleep.... so SORRY I haven't written reviews in a while. but now I have some time... so here goes...

Review numero uno for RICHARD CHEESE AND THE LOUNGE AGAINST THE MACHINE! Where? Webster Hall. When? Saturday June 21st.

Webster Hall is an institution of NYC. You just simply aren't a patron of the city if you haven't walked through those doors flanked by big as a mountain security guards and into the strangely dank and stale smelling hallway of Webster Hall. Where, by some confusing miracle, you are led to your right, then down stairs when you could've sworn you were up, only to twist around til you feel like you are on the left side of some badly painted universe. Once I regain my bearings, we smash our way into the main stage area. Where I immediately think... "Great. No A/C."

The air already smells of beer, sweat, and other highly questionable things. No worries. DRINKS! WE NEED DRINKS! (This, incidentally is a new thing for me... I wasn't one to imbibe while attending a show... but ehhhhh your priorities change when you get a little older... and you're not RUSHING the stage to "accidentally" flash Trent Reznor your tits). **NOTE** ALways bring a sexy big tittied blonde to a concert where there is a bar. You get your drinks WAY SOONER!

Merely one Vodka Tonic later, The CHEESE IS ON! Opening, with, yes YES Their own fantastic rendition of CLOSER!!! I could've left right there. But DAMN was there a lot of awesome lounge-ness to be had!

From one fantastic swinging hit into the other- Mr. Cheese DELIVERED! The smoking jackets, the fellow cheesed members including Mr. Feta etc... The man was a riot, a brilliant singer, and arguably one of the most gifted SHOWMAN ever (and we all know how I feel about Showman)! He positively GLOWED when he came down into the audience in search of lady lesbians to have some serious pillow talk with... or at the very least to sit on the corner of the bed and WATCH!

The show went on for eons all simply hilarious well pitched and performed. There were so many songs I couldn't possibly remember them all... BUT off the top of me noggin' I can recall: Baby Got Back, My Milkshake, Gin and Juice, Show Me Your Pussy, Spongebob Square Pants, Aqua Teen Hunger Force theme song, Chop Suey, Shake Ya Ass, Down with the Sickness, Another Brick in the Wall, 99 Luftballoons AAAAAAHHHH too many to remember!!!! Anyone who remembers post a comment with the additional songs!

We danced, we laughed, we watched Mr.Cheese form a chorus line with giant men, and also, we had our nostril hairs BURNED OUT by the rancid gas of various men (seriously, what were the men at this show EATING before they came in?!) Michele was punched so hard in the face by the odor that her bag burst open whilst she feebly attempted to fan the smell away! YIKES> Lisa and I managed to find it funny... once we regained consciousness and successfully kept the vomit down! People blew bubbles as per Mr.Cheese's request-as it added ambiance to the Sponge Bob song! Always with the activities! Makes sure the crowd never gets bored- though the music alone makes that quite impossible! Mr.Cheese, my hats off to you, I had a fantastic night. I only wish I could afford you for my dream wedding!

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