Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Nine Inch Nails "Wave Goodbye"
There were many emotions that I went through during the course of this whole "wave goodbye" tour.
1. Denial and Isolation: When Trent Reznor announced that this was to be his last tour, I simply couldn't accept what I was hearing. I spoke to no one about the inevitable "end". My interior monologue with Trent Reznor went something along the lines of "OK OK, but you'll still make music, right? I mean, eventually you're going to get the itch, and you'll HAVE to tour, right? You have to. You'll be back, go ahead, get married, prosper, have babies, then go on tour with your wife and kids! It'll be great- just like you never left. There's no way that August 26th 2009 at Terminal 5 is Nine Inch Nails last show in NYC...ever.
2. Anger: This LITERALLY happened to me as the the final show at Terminal 5 came to a close. "What the FUCK? Why the fuck did I wait in line for 6 hours? What a shitty way to end touring in NYC- with a COVER?! YOU DON'T FUCKING END the LAST NIN show in NYC with a fucking COVER and a PRACTICALLY IDENTICAL fucking set list! FUCK YOU, TRENT! I am SO disappointed! I'm so fucking over it. I can't believe I fucking wasted 16 years of my life loving you. GRAHH!"
3. Bargaining: "If ONLY I had gone to more shows! THEN he wouldn't leave b/c he'd see how much more financial gain there is to touring! Why didn't I tour Europe with them when I had the chance to? I deeply regret not seeing the Peaches/Bauhaus/Nine Inch Nails shows more than once. WHY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TRY HARDER TO GET IN TO THE BOWERY and WEBSTER SHOWS!! Maybe, if I fly to California, I can make it to a few last minute shows, that way I can drag it out more, it doesn't have to be over, not yet!" No, No, No. NO! Maybe if I re-buy all the albums, a few more shirts, start an on-line petition...
4. Depression: I awoke the morning after the final Terminal 5 show. I was sore, exhausted, and numb. There was a distinct ringing in my ears, and a swelling in my throat. The swelling rapidly transformed itself into a lump, the lump into an infection. I had somehow contracted an infection as a result of the nine inch nails shows. The epidemic swept across the entire audience who had attended both NYC shows. They call it the "NINFLUENZA". Very funny, until it gives you "parotitus" or a salivary gland infection. The doctor asked if I had been recently dehydrated for an extended amount of time. "Why, yes, as a matter of fact, I was living in a SWEAT LODGE also known as a nin concert for two days, would that do it?" Yes. Yes it would. I'm hurt, frankly. Injured literally and figuratively. I am so depressed that Trent has left me, and worse, he has left me while I am sick with disease. I have been laying around with a case of the Mondays every day of the week.
5. Acceptance: I know that I have finally reached this final and oh-so important stage. How do I know this? Well, I FINALLY posted this blog. I had most of this draft written the day after the show... but I just COULD NOT face it. Every time I would sign on and attempt to write the rest of it, I would go through stages 1-4 all over again. It pained me to look at it and see the phrase "Wave Goodbye". I couldn't even go on to nin.com and look at its content, frozen in time since September 4th. Now, it's like the world has rebooted. I am listening to "other" music again, even have gotten excited about other artists. I will always hold nine inch nails near and dear to my heart, they will most likely stay my favorite band of all time, but I accept that this is my cue to move on- find other amazing live shows.
So, for all my web savvy gurus I leave you with this nugget:
There's only so many times a person can refresh a page before they have to close it... or at least open a new window.
Goodbye Nine Inch Nails... thanks for all the laughter, tears, and raucous head banging. I will miss it.