WTF Music Festivals?

OK OK I've a bone to pick with festivals. WHY??? Well, for one, they're always a nightmare. the crowds. the overpriced water. the drug trafficking. the lack of freshly bathed people. oh, not to mention the fact that they always take place in THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE- but now, there's an EVEN bigger dilemma... the exclusive lineups.

In example, here's the Lineup for Bonnaroo '09:

Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band • Phish (2 shows) • Beastie Boys • Nine Inch Nails •David Byrne • Wilco • Al Green • Snoop Dogg • Elvis Costello Solo • Erykah Badu • Paul Oakenfold • Ben Harper and Relentless7 • The Mars Volta • TV on the Radio • Yeah Yeah Yeahs • Gov't Mule • Andrew Bird • Band of Horses • Merle Haggard • MGMT • moe. • The Decemberists • Girl Talk • Bon Iver • Béla Fleck & Toumani Diabate• Rodrigo y Gabriela • Galactic • The Del McCoury band • of Montreal • Allen Toussaint • Coheed & Cambria • Booker T & the DBTs • David Grisman Quintet • Lucinda Williams • Animal Collective • Gomez • Neko Case • Down • Jenny Lewis • Santogold • Robert Earl • Keen • Citizen Cope• Femi Kuti and the Positive Force• The Ting Tings • Robyn Hitchcock & The Venus 3 • Grace Potter and the Nocturnals • Kaki King • Grizzly Bear • King Sunny • Adé Okkervil River • St. Vincent • Zac Brown Band • Raphael Saadiq • Ted Leo and the Pharmacists • Crystal Castles • Tift Merritt • Brett Dennen • Mike Farris and the Roseland Rhythm Revue • Toubab Krewe • People Under The Stairs • Alejandro Escovedo • Vieux Farka Touré • Elvis Perkins • in Dearland •Cherryholmes • Yeasayer • Todd Snider • Chairlift Portugal. • The Man. • The SteelDrivers • Midnite • The Knux • The Low • Anthem • Delta Spirit • A.A. • Bondy • The Lovell Sisters • Alberta Cross • AND More Artists to Be Announced!

Oh yeah, and here's COACHELLA'S '09 3 days worth of music lineup:

FRIDAY APRIL 17: Paul McCartney, Morrissey, Franz Ferdinand, Leonard Cohen, Conor Oberst and the Mystic Valley Band, Beirut, The Black Keys, Girl Talk, Silversun Pickups, The Ting Tings, The Crystal Method, Ghostland Observatory, Crystal Castles, The Airborne Toxic Event, We Are Scientists, N.A.S.A., Patton & Rahzel, M. Ward, The Presets, The Hold Steady, A Place to Bury Strangers, Felix da Housecat, Buraka Som Sistema, Ryan Bingham, Bajofondo, Peanut Butter Wolf, Noah & the Whale, White Lies, The Bug, Alberta Cross, Los Campesinos!, Craze & Klever, Molotov, Switch, Gui Boratto, Steve Aoki, The Aggrolites, People Under the Stairs, The Courteeners, Cage the Elephant, Dear and the Headlights.

SATURDAY, APRIL 18: The Killers, Amy Winehouse, Thievery Corporation, TV on the Radio, Band of Horses, Fleet Foxes, MSTRKRFT, Michael Franti & Spearhead, Atmosphere, Mastodon, TRAV$DJ-AM, Henry Rollins, Crookers, Turbonegro, Hercules and Love Affair, Superchunk, Glasvegas, Dr. Dog, Drive-By Truckers, Booker T & the DBT's, Amanda Palmer, The Bloody Beetroots, Surkin, Para One (Live), Calexico, Liars, Bob Mould Band, Zane Lowe, Electric Touch, Blitzen Trapper, James Morrison, Drop the Lime, Glass Candy, Thenewno2, Gang Gang Dance, Billy Talent, Ida Maria, Ariel Pink's Haunted Graffiti, Zizek, Cloud Cult, Tinariwen.

SUNDAY, APRIL 19: The Cure, My Bloody Valentine, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Throbbing Gristle, Lupe Fiasco, Paul Weller, Peter Bjorn and John, X, Antony & the Johnsons, Roni Size, Public Enemy, Jenny Lewis, Groove Armada, Paolo Nutini, Christopher Lawrence, Lykke Li, The Kills, Okkervil River, M.A.N.D.Y., Clipse, Sebastien Tellier, Fucked Up, Perry Farrell, The Horrors, Late of the Pier, K'naan, Junior Boys, Brian Jonestown Massacre, Supermayer, No Age, Vivian Girls, Shepard Fairey, Themselves, Gaslight Anthem, The Knux, Mexican Institute of Sound, The Night Marchers, Marshall Barnes.

AND LET US NOT FORGET- TEXAS of all places and SXSW. taking place in March 18-22- with so many local and international acts playing it's making my head spin off of my neck! I will only mention, DEVO, The Decemberists, and THE TINY (one of my favorite new bands...), Andrew Bird...

WHAT GIVES??? I can't AFFORD to go all over the continental US for concerts... as much as I wish I could. Second- why can't these shows take place in a part of the world that I've been meaning to go? I mean, Texas? Tennessee?? (sorry... but I am a snot nosed bitch from NY). Ugh. Ok. Rant over.