Paying (not scalping) to go as someone's +1 for the NYC shows...?

So, I know a LOT of us attempted to get the HIGHLY exclusive tickets for the Bowery Ballroom and Webster Hall shows. I like so many others was denied the chance- thanks to a laundry list of complications (not having to do necessarily with nin.com).

I've read a comment posted on the ninhotline re:making arrangements to be someone's "+1" for the shows for a reasonable price. I attempted to search threads here for such offers... but came up short.

I assume this will be nearly impossible to do so, but I figure it's worth a fighting chance?

So, if anyone has a spare ticket for the Bowery Ballroom and Webster Hall shows, I hope that you will consider selling it to me as your +1. I will do everything in my power to make sure you have a kick-ass time here in NYC- in addition to buying the ticket at face value + any ass-rape fees (honoring Trent's and nin's "no scalping wishes" ) I'll buy you dinner, all your drinks, merch at the show, whatever.

I will do anything I can short of selling myself. For I'm a lady and I am spoken for.

Email me, PM me, twitter at me, write me on facebook, send smoke signals and let me know...

I've worshipped NIN for 16 years now... It breaks my heart to think I won't be able to see their final NYC shows...

thanks for reading

Madame K